“Who controls our minds controls our lives” - Natalie Blank

Many people feel powerless in life, and there are definitely times when we don’t have much power to control what is happening in our lives, or the world at large. However, we always have the ability to control how we think about things, and we often do have more power than we give ourselves credit for when it comes to what is happening.

I have personally had many times when I have felt little control and I have handed all power to others, in my mind. This is a habit I have been working on for many years and is a pattern I always have to be aware of when I start a new project. Becoming aware of this pattern has been life changing for me in many ways.

Taking back control of my locus of control has allowed me to decide my future.

I used to take on too much and feel like I couldn’t say no, because I didn’t have the ‘power’ to. If someone wanted something of me, I had to say yes, because they had that power. I would often find myself to such a pain point that I would finally have to do something to change my life, and this mostly included making such big changes that my life was completely different once I was done (finishing relationships, moving across the country, changing my situation completely) but I was the same person so I would slowly build up the same problem in my new place in life. This led to an unstable life, created by myself, but which I blamed on others because I didn’t have the ability to see I was creating it myself. I now see, after much work, that I was giving my power away until I couldn’t stand it anymore and then I would blow a fuse, change my world, and then hand power back to others again until I blew my fuse again.

Becoming aware of where I’m placing my locus of control has helped me recognise these patterns so I can avoid them. This has meant I have been able to have a stable life for over 10 years now, with a loving marriage and a stable home life for our kids. This is a huge achievement for someone whose childhood taught them that when things get tough you just move on.

We often get our perspective on locus of control from the people we grow up with and it can feel difficult to change at times. It is well worth learning more about this aspect of our thought patterns though, if we want to find and follow our purpose and feel we have meaning and impact in our lives.

It is possible to change the ways our minds work, and I am proof of that. There are many aspects of mind change that I have worked with and would be happy to take you through how to use locus of control and/or others if you think this would be of help to you. Use the calendar below to book your first session free.

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